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Friday, June 22, 2007 . 9:37 AM

Ahhh just another day have passed and i seem to be realising something about myself,it's like knowing that sometime rite...... I just act weirdly. Let's say if i were to fail something give a example let's say a test.... and owh btw i did fail a test today =). It's not a surprise though i always fail tests. Those who have known me for some time it's not something new for you right??? =)...and so let me continue about this feeling i think i am feeling about. I somehow have this weird feeling in me saying ~that owh arthur u have just FAILED your test it's ok be happy show that you're happy~... It's been the same since secondary school.I've never had this weird feeling before till i started failing my first subject miserably and that is addmath. It's just like you know i start showing that im okay im still happy even thought i fail then suddenly after a while when i start to get to a quiet enviroment my feelings turn 180 degrees.Then i start having this really saddening feeling building within me. Is this just a natural thing for me to do just to pretend??You know whaT?? i don't think i can always keep showing this happy face one day I might just drop down and say i failed miserably and im useless. Maybe just one day this stupid face can show it's true emotion when things happen. I been told by someone that i was a complicated person and the only reason I ! AM! complicated is because i have this feeling that is being played around inside of me turning things complicated sort of trying to protect myself from something that I don't even know what it is about. It's all just crap !! seriously i tell you and I still can't get it till today why am i acting like this. Sometime I wonder why do i have this weird behaviour maybe one day i can just find out why........
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